I haven't been away from Amelia for more than two hours since she was put in my arms. I didn't realize this until the other day. Both times Abby has been involved. The first time she took Amelia for an hour (see post here) so I could get some food and have a few minutes to myself. The second hour was yesterday. Abby and I went to a kid's consignment sale. Daddy was on baby duty. We both survived each instance.
While the last seven weeks haven't been very productive, they've been hers and mine. We've snuggled every day for endless hours. We've been frustrated with each other overcoming the pains of breast feeding and lack of sleep. We've had simply priceless moments staring at each other and wondering what the other one was thinking. Well, at least I was wondering what she was thinking. I like to think about what goes on in that little head of hers and in my mind, she was wondering about what I was thinking. :)
Now, someone else gets to hold my baby for more hours each day than I'll get to and that makes me sad. I brings tears to my eyes to think that she is becoming more active and responsive and I'm not there to play with her. I want to be the one to hear those laughs and wipe away the tears. I want to be the one to see her crawl for the first time, take her first step, say her first word... Loving her more than life won't keep her from doing these things in my absence. I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed that not all these milestones will be caught by the daycare provider. Hopefully Daddy & I will be witness to one or two. My fingers are tightly crossed.
Next week I'm going to take AJ to daycare for 2 or 3 mornings so I can get used to the idea of her being gone. I'm torn about this decision. Part of me thinks it's good to get used to it and the other part of me thinks I'm losing valuable time with my little girl in the last week of just the two of us. I guess it's good for both of us. Or, that's what I'm going to tell myself. I wouldn't want to be dropped off in some strange place with no warning for 8 hours so why would she, right?
Ugh, two weeks. I'm just going to love every snuggle between now and then.
2 comments:
That definitely brings back a flood of emotions! I know exactly how you are feeling...and it is hard! I found that the worst part is the anticipation and anxiety of the weeks leading up to going back to work. Once you are back at work and back into a routine, it gets easier...
Really enjoy the time you have...soak it all in and try not to think about June 1st!
And...you will be surprised...you really won't miss out on as many "firsts" as you think!
Would love to get together at some point soon, now that we are all healthy again! XO
Darn it, Shawnna! That post should've come with a warning...you made me cry and it's just barely 7am! I remember the first day we dropped Anna at daycare. We closed the door then sobbed in each others arms. Even if you don't see the "first" it'll be YOUR first with Amelia and you'll be no less excited. I love you. It'll be OK....I remember those same feelings and I'm not sure I would've believed me but it's only going to get better watching her grow. -Abby
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